15th
Coworker Chronicles Part 1
So there’s this guy at work… me and buddy DJ Huang have decided to call him… Le Douche. He sits in the same room as me in the opposite cubicle just across diagonal from me.
So Le Douche is the ultimate Douche and I will start by sharing a story that happened today. I think it is the best way to keep this Coworker Chronicles organized because if I started posting on all the things he’s done so far… I could write a book that would rival a Harry Potter book, just not as suspenseful.
Here goes:
Today Le Douche comes up to me and says to me in his nasal-y voice (I kid you not, it is very nasaly which may add to the douche factor), “Hey… we need one of these product A’s out in the field. We’re going to start working in the field so we need these out there. Call this guy and order one because we need one A-Sap. We need this to be out in the field by tomorrow. Call and get one out there.”
So I say to him, “Alright, I’m finishing up this thing for D. I’ll call the guy right after I’m done with this. It’ll be about 10 minutes.” So I continue working.
Less than five minutes later. I hear this from across the diagonal cubical, “Hey, did you order product A yet? We need those tomorrow.”
So I respond, “Alright fine, I’ll order it and then finish up what D wanted me to do later…”
So I call the vendor…
Me: Hi, my name is Johnny Sideburns and I’m going to take over the ordering equipment from you guys reponsibility from Le Douche. I need to order product A and have it delivered to our field tomorrow. Would you guys be able to do that for us?
Vendor: Uh… yeah but you guys already have one out there.
Me: ….we do? Le Douche just told me that we don’t and to call you to request one.
Vendor: No, you have one. It’s been there for about a month.
Me: ….
Vendor: Yeah
Me: Okay, let me go talk to Le Douche and verify this. Maybe he didn’t know and so we don’t need to order one or maybe we need a second one. Please hold.
So I walk over to Le Douche’s cubicle…
Me: Hey, you wanted me to get one of those product A’s out into the field right?
Le Douche: Yea, we need one A-Sap.
Me: Okay, I just talked to the vendor (and I know he heard the entire conversation), and he said we already had one out there and it’s been there for about a month.
Le Douche: *silence*
Me: *waiting*
Le Douche: Yeah, I know.
Me: …so do we need one then?
Le Douche: Yeah. We need another one. I said get a second one.
Me: …
and I just walked away without saying anything. Wow. Incredible.
